Stand by your man?

Volume 2, Issue 23
International Tribune

She does not have to.   She can just walk away.  She has nothing to lose as she has her own career, wealth, and more importantly, the love and support of her family and friends.  For any woman, these are all enough if not the most important elements to move on, to start fresh, and forget all the nightmares behind.  But what makes her stay and endure the ordeal brought on by her philandering husband?  And worse, sometimes a public scandal is attached that could possibly taint her reputation forever.  

From Jackie Kennedy, to Hillary Clinton, Princess Diana, and now to Anne Sinclair, these women are all international icons of their time.   They are intelligent and beautiful.  Any man would love to be the partner by their side.  They come from well-to-do families, if not rich, but of a good hard working middle class.  They can certainly do well without their 'man'.  A life on their own, or with a new partner can be as happy and colorful after their no good ex.  But what makes her stay?  

For some, love truly conquers all.  No one can ever really know what goes on inside the marriage behind closed doors.   Jackie knew that JFK was having an affair with Marilyn.  There were plenty of books written to prove that the Prince of Camelot's mistress was the blond bombshell.  Not too long ago, the impeachment trial of Bill Clinton during his last year of presidency must have been traumatizing for Hillary.  The scar will be there forever but Hillary moved on and a few years later, she became a presidential candidate, and then the next U.S. Secretary of State.  After all, Hillary’s marriage with Bill is worth saving- even after America's biggest White House scandal.  And now, Anne Sinclair (Mrs. Dominique Strauss Kahn) is definitely standing by her man even when he is locked up behind bars in Rikers Island for attempted rape.  Having a mistress is one thing, but being charged for rape- for me, that is the most vicious violation one can commit against women.  Despite of it all, Anne has gone publicly and renounced all allegations of her husband's crime.   The sad reality is, this is not the first or second time he has been accused of sexual harassment.  This is just the first case he was sent to prison.  In this case, Anne is definitely standing by her man.  

The divorce of the late Princess Diana and Prince Charles rocked the House of Windsor.  The world pitied the poor princess who was in a loveless marriage.  Although, this is nothing shocking amongst royal marriages but we all fell in love with the 'fairy tale' romance that we thought they had.  On July 15, 1996, Diana and Charles filed for divorce without the blessing of the queen.  Dianna readily renounced all her rights as the future Queen of England and received 33 million pounds in settlement.   She leaves the court without a title but with dignity.  

Who are we to really judge?  There are some who will take their marital vows until death will keep them apart.  Whether you are French or American, conservative or liberal, a marital vow is a promise to keep.   A perfect 'happily-ever-after' marriage is an illusion.  There is no such thing.  Every now and then, something will arise that will test the strength of the bond.   How you work together as a couple to find cure to growing pains, at the end of the day, is the only thing that matters.  Life is not meant to live in a bed of roses.  Not all the time.

Perhaps it is true, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.  We are very different creatures.  Food for thought; it is always wiser to give the Venusians time and space to think things through. Because if you deny her of this, like what they say, hell has no fury to a woman scorned.  Venusians are trained to handle the heat which most Martians can barely survive.  And when the storm is over, this is the moment when she can then decide and calculate every move that she will have to take.  For her, the sky is the limit.

Are women the real decision makers?  History has shown that it could just very well be.  Jackie, Hillary, and Anne decided to stand by their man against all odds.   That is admirable.  On the other hand, Diana decided to give up the crown.  But who wants to stay in a loveless marriage.  Her decision was indeed very brave and noble.  Freud once said, "The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is what a woman want?”  What a typical puzzle from a Martian.  Well Dr. Freud, you may now close this case.  Whatever a woman wants, is usually what she gets.